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Here it is Melting Pot, Season Three It's a joy to write, hooray for me! I hope that all of you Enjoy reading this, too If not, well at least it is free! Copyright 2006. "Big Wheel, Keep on Turnin'" by Paul Cloutier "I live on the edge. Sometimes I fall off." - Steve Winterburn on the Unicyclist.com message board Scattered applause nearly covered up the sound of retching as the last musical strains of "I gotta be me!" faded out. Hirthnole rolled into the back of the bigtop as one of the numerous circus-folk tossed him a sheet-like coverup. The currently naked Tellarite hopped off his unicycle and wrapped the coverup around himself as he headed towards his section of the main freighter. He recalled hearing that at one time each act in a circus or carnival had had their own trailer, but with interstellar travel, nowadays, such considerations had long fallen by the wayside. Now everyone shared space on a rather large space freighter, apartment-like suites being partitioned off inside the converted cargo space. So far, the elderly unicyclist mused, his act hadn't been the huge hit that he had hoped that it would be. True enough, the Breen owners of the circus had found it daring and innovative. (Of course, they found anyone who walked around without body armor to be daring and innovative.) The audiences had only found it to be deeply disturbing. He had tried several variations to his act to see if the modifications would bring him more acceptance, but, so far, nothing had really gained him the level of recognition that he had craved. The high-wire unicycling, the underwater unicycling even the obstacle course unicycling had all produced less than favorable reactions from the crowds. Hirthnole was kind of glad that the obstacle course hadn't worked out. Riding a unicycle through a vigorous obstacle course while naked wasn't the most comfortable activity he had ever attempted. It threw off his timing, too. "I did it my way" just wasn't he same when every other word was pitched rather too high. Ruefully shaking his head, Hirthnole put his unicycle into his apartment and changed into his normal tunic and breeches. Since his act involved (tasteful) nudity, local ordinances on the planets that the circus visited invariably required that he perform later at night. This being the case, his act had been turned into part of each day's grand finale. This meant that he was off-duty after his show. This being the case, he headed, as he did after each show, to the cafeteria to share a late-night drink with several of his co-workers. "Still knocking 'em dead, Hirthnole?" the friendly voice of Klang, the circus' Klingon Strongman boomed out. "Seems so," Hirthnole answered. "How many tonight?" "Looks like four cardiac arrests, seven faintings and 12 cases of temporary blindness," came back the report from Beulah, the troupe's resident Fat Lady and company nurse. "What? No catatonias? You must be slipping, good fellow!" kidded The Amazing Mentos. Mentos was a Betazoid who used his telempathic powers to hypnotize volunteers from the audience. Even after centuries of advancement and sophistication, people still laughed when they saw their fellows up on a stage, clucking like a chicken. Oddly enough, after being awakened from their trance, Mentos' subjects always found their breath to be minty fresh. Hirthnole had found himself welcomed into the loose family of freaks in the circus. The ringmasters, trapeez artists and lion tamers, ie the more glamorous acts, tended to stick together, but the Hypnotist and the Bearded Lady and all the rest of Hirthnole's new friends were no less tight of a group. The camaraderie was no less than that he had enjoyed on the Menagerie, and the elderly Tellarite considered himself lucky to have found TWO sets of such good friends. Sitting with him now, in addition to the previously mentioned Strongman, Fat Lady and Mentos, were Cujo - the Dog-Faced Boy, Lady Gillette - the Bearded Lady and B'Kee - Mistress of Fog. B'Kee had also joined the circus on Benzar. The poor girl was incredibly shy and appearing on stage made her hyperventilate more than four M'Dral's. Hirthnole had told her about M'Dral's school, but it turned out that the girl had always dreamed of joining a circus and was simply overjoyed that her nervousness had proved entertaining enough to grant her wish. She was quite spectacular, too. She could completely fill a good sized tent with fog in just under five minutes! Lady Gillette (A.K.A. Jessica) was an otherwise normal human, except for her uncanny ability to force her hair to grow at will. Her father had been a scientist working on methods to restore hair to balding humans. A bizzare lab accident had altered his DNA and passed some sort of super hair-growing ability onto his daughter. Early in her circus career, she had used the name Ridem Cowgirl and had used lassoes braided from her armpit hair to capture various objects around the ring. This act had been met with about the same enthusiasm as Hirthnole's naked unicycling, so she had become Lady Gillette. Now she simply went around with a foot-long beard. At the start of her performance, the beard would be shaved off and over the course of the act, it would grow back to its original length, much to the (simulated) heart-break of its forlorn owner. Cujo - the Dog-Faced Boy was the latest in a long line of Dog-Faced Boys, the act and the genetic chaos to support it passed down from father to son for the last five hundred years. Cujo could trace his ancestory back to mid 17th-century Earth. There was absolutely nothing that Cujo didn't know about circus and carnival life. Beulah may have been the hardest working member of the little group. As she had pointed out, getting to be a Fat Lady was a difficult acheivement but STAYING a Fat Lady was easily as hard. Hirthnole could not recall a time that he had seen her without some sort of food. Even now, as the others sipped their last cups of coffee of the night, she had a platter of hamburgers, a quart of french fries and two cups of cole slaw in front of her. Surprisingly, for such a large woman, she was incredibly neat and dainty in her eating. Hirthnole wasn't sure if this was because she was just a neat person or if she was afraid that she might miss a crumb of her food, otherwise. She zipped around the circus on a custom hoversled and Hirthnole had found out, on his first day with the circus, that when you heard a shouted "Watch Out!" you had better move out of the way, quickly! Mentos was, more or less, the father figure to the group. He had a strict rule that he would never use his telempathic powers on any of his fellow freaks and his absolute adherence to that rule was respected and admired by each of the others. Before joining the circus, Mentos had worked as a consulting sketch artist for a police department on Palladium. He had even worked the famous Palladium Palace robbery. But even with his amazing sketches of the suspected perpetrators, the crime was still unsoloved, twenty years later. Eventually, dealing with criminals each and every day had proven to be too depressing to the normally exuburant Betazoid and he had left Palladium to find something a bit different. The circus had provided that. Klang was the prototypical jolly Strongman. His muscles were huge, even for a Klingon and Klang showed them off to best advantage with bands of beaten silver circling his wrists and forearms. Hirthnole wasn't sure why the massive Klingon wore the pink tights, but he sure wasn't going to argue with him about it! Everyone shared their thoughts and observations on the day just completed before they all slipped off to bed. Tomorrow was a travel day and they would all have to be up early to strike the tents and to pack up. Technology had changed quite a bit over the past few centuries but those changes seemed to have completely bypassed the circus. There would be plenty of manual labor on the morrow. Three days later the travelling circus landed on a new planet. None of the freaks really cared too much which one it was, from the inside of a tent, one planet looked very much like any other. As long as they could breath the air, the group didn't much care one way or another. Of course, if they COULDN'T breath the air, it just meant that they would have to put up the atmospheric domes over the tents. The audience would either come into the domes after being issued respirator masks or they would gather outside the domes and watch through the transparent aluminum. This planet had the 'standard' oxygen-nitrogen mix, however, so the domes stayed in the frieghter. The new location also brought along a new freak show. The young Orion woman nervously waited in front of the large freighter. She had just been dropped off by hover-taxi. She clutched a battered suitcase and wore drab, shapeless clothes. Her light-green skin was remarkably well set-off by her dazzlingly purple eyes. "Hi, my name is Joonti" she stammered, hesitantly stepping forward. "I was told to see Mentos about getting some rooms assigned to me and about getting a schedule spot for my act." Mentos graciously stepped forward, extending his hand in greeting, "I am the Amazing Mentos," he identified himself. "I'm sure a suitable residence can be discovered for you. But tell me, what is your act?" The girl shyly twisted the handle on her suitcase, "I'd really rather show you, sir. If I could just go get changed, I could give everyone a demonstration." "But of course, my dear," Mentos bowed with a flourish. "If you would just follow me this way..." Mentos led the girl into the freighter where she was given one of the empty apartments. She gazed around herself in awe. "You mean all of this space is just for me?" she delightedly danced through the barely 100 square meter suite of rooms. "Of course, my dear," Mentos affirmed. "Will you be able to find your way back out for your demonstration?" "I think so," the happily spinning girl responded, twirling over to give Mentos a quick peck on the cheek, "I'll be out in a few minutes to show you my act." The Betazoid dazedly wandered off through the freighter's corridors, wondering, briefly, if /he/ would be able to find his way back out. <> he berated himself. <> Sighing over too many days gone past, the Amazing Mentos wandered back to his friends, outside. Joonti appeared about fifteen minutes after Mentos had emerged from the ship. No one was sure what had taken her so long to get ready. It certainly hadn't been taken up by dressing. The 'dress' that the young girl wore could only be called that because it was, technically, being worn by a woman. 'Barely existant clothing anomoly' might have been more appropriate. The fabric was as sheer and transparent as a dragonfly's wings, and made up of about the same amount of material. Hirthnole had seen Linnea in any number of what he would have considered skimpy outfits, but he now realised that he had had no idea what 'skimpy' meant. Beulah immediately mentally reserved appointments for Mentos, Hirthnole, Cujo and Klang to treat them for bruising on the bottom of their chins, as their mouths dropped open in amazement. Cujo let out a distinctive howl then looked shamefully around. Sometimes the 'dog' in him was more than skin deep. It was immediately obvious that Joonti would have to be joining Hirthnole as one of the late-night acts. As to what her act was... The Orion girl had been carrying a small, old-fashioned barbeque grill with her although this fact had actually escaped the notice of the other freaks, so busy were they with noticing other little details about her 'act'. She set the grill down and quickly ignited the synthe-charcoal. Within seconds the grill was ablaze with a merry, golden flame. Reaching into some unknown pocket the girl removed two batons. (Where the heck had THOSE come from?) The batons' ends must have been specially designed since she then stuck them into the flames. When both ends of both batons were merrily burning, she began to spin and twirl them. Tracing burning paths through the air, the batons twirled and danced in the girl's hands. A murmur of disappointment rumbled among the freaks. Fire-juggling wasn't all that impressive a skill, after all. As though sensing the disappointment around her, Joonti suddenly stuck one of the ends of one of the batons close to her face - and into her mouth! After what seemed like a lifetime, she withdrew the now-extinguished baton and then belched a ball of fire into the sky. She repeated this trick with the other end of that baton. She discarded the now unlit baton and contrived to spin the remaining one closer and closer to herself. Suddenly, as if by some terrible accident, the baton struck her in the chest! The material that made up her 'dress' instantly immolated! Mentos and Hirthnole jumped for fire extinguishers, required by Federation law to be available at any outdoor public gathering, but a giggle from the girl stopped them in their tracks. Turning back around, they were amazed to see her standing completely unharmed (not to mention completely naked) calmly dampening out the ends of her batons with her hands! "I spray a fire-retardant all over myself before the act," she explained as she calmly doused the grill and gathered up her batons. The fact that she was completely nude in front of people that she had just met seemed to bother her not at all. Of course, if she was to be performing this act every night in front of hundreds of complete strangers, then doing so in front of her co-workers would be inconsequential. Well, inconsequential to /her/, maybe. Mentos rushed over, quickly draping his suitcoat over the shoulders of the circus' newest act. "Wonderful! Wonderful, my dear! I do fear that, due to the nature of your act, that we will have to put you on very last, after good, old Hirthnole, there. But that will certainly leave the audience screaming for more! What a way to end a day! Yes! Yes..." The sound of his voice trailed off as he helped the girl carry her props back to her new apartment. The rest of the freaks watched the mismatched pair retreat with various degrees of bemusement visible on their faces. "Hope the old fool doesn't get himself hurt," Beulah offered as she started on a bowl of oatmeal (her tenth so far that morning). "Might do him some good," Hirthnole countered. "Oh aye, but there's no fool like an old fool, ya know." The pair grinned at each other. The 'old fool' saying was one of their favorite private jokes, since they were, with the exception of Mentos, easily the oldest freaks in the circus. Their attention was suddenly diverted as they watched the apparently mesmerized Klang and Cujo stagger dazedly into each other as they walked, zombie-like, out to the midway to help finish setting up some of the attractions. Neither seemed to notice the collision, even though it had thrown Cujo to the ground and caused Klang to bounce off the side of the freighter. Hirthnole and Beulah looked back at each other. "OK, I stand corrected!" Beulah laughed. "There's no fool like a /young/ fool!" That night Hirthnole's act produced its usual number of heart palpitations, but Joonti's performance easily doubled his count. The new act was obviously a big success! Over the next few nights, the crowds attending the late-night performances swelled to massive numbers. The circus' patrons seemed even willing to brave Hirthnole's display to have the opportunity to enjoy Joonti's show. At the same time, a romance seemed to be blossoming between the Circus' oldest freak and its newest act. During their off hours, Mentos and Joonti were near inseperable. Beulah and Hirthnole were quietly bemused by the new spring in the elderly Betazoid's step and the ever-present smile that now graced his face on the rare occasions that he was seen without his new paramour. The rest of the freaks seemed torn between mild jealously, mild disapproval and indifference. B'Kee, for her part, was far too excited by this new life to take more than a passing notice of the new couple. Klang was far too accustomed to other humanoids being slightly uncomfortable around Klingons to be overly concerned by the tiny girl's selection of Mentos over him. Cujo - well, Cujo was a dog-faced boy. Somehow his family line had continued on down through the centuries, but there were times, many times, when he wondered how. Jessica thought that the girl was far too young for Mentos, but much of this sentiment was probably caused by the fact that she had quietly pined for the Betazoid for years. All in all, the crew were comfortable with themselves and with each other. The introduction of Hirthnole and B'Kee had been handled without any difficulties and, eventually, Joonti would become a part of their close family as well. The fact that she seemed to be stealing their father-figure away from them would merely make the acceptance take a little longer. Several days later, after the week-long run on the unnamed planet, the circus packed up to head for its next destination. *************** * Interlude 1 * *************** About eight hours after it had departed, a small courier ship landed. A small, neat man dressed in the ornate (and incredibly uncomfortable) livery of a Palladium Palace Messenger stepped out of the ship and looked around expectantly. Obviously not seeing what he was expecting, he glanced down at the clipPADD that he was carrying and shook his head in disappointment. Glumly, he shuffled back into his ship which took off moments later. ****************** * Interlude Ends * ****************** The circus landed at its next venue (another unnamed oxygen nitrogen planet) and the freaks pitched in with setting up the tents, booths, rides and midway for this new planet's rubes. The freighter had landed during the morning hours and the circus would open later that same afternoon. There was plenty of work to do, as always, but everyone knew their job and the circus was ready to open with time to spare. Joonti and Mentos had worked together, during the setup. This had been her first landing with the troupe (at least that was the excuse that they used) and needed to be shown what to do. That opening night was much like any other - couples walked hand-in-hand through the midway as boyfriends tried to impress girlfriends by proving their skills at the nearly impossible carnival-like contests. Before retreating to the Tunnel of Love ride for an excuse to cuddle under the scares to be found therein. Of course, with advances in technology, the Tunnel of Love was now a holosuite with amazingly real and truly frightening images. More than one date had been ruined by the realism of the modern-day Tunnel of Love. Children dragged semi-reluctant parents toward kiddie rides and the 'easy' games. The duck pond was as popular as ever. At this game a child merely had to pick up a duck to win the prize indicated by a sticker on the underside of the duck. The pond at this circus was a bit unusual in that it used REAL ducks, so the test was a bit more difficult than many parents had expected. The ducks were old hands at this and had developed a pecking order amongst themselves - literally! It had become a sort of contest to see how many times a hand could be pecked before it was snatched away by a tearful child. The ducks were very canny, however - they didn't peck REALLY hard until an enraged parent tried to avenge their child's honor. Sometimes it was necessary to change the water several times a night to keep the pink tinge from scaring away prospective marks. Of course planets whose populations' blood wasn't based on hemoglobin tinted the water green or blue or some other pastel hue. With the ducks, it had become a kind of point of honor to see that as few prizes were awarded as possible. One of the differences on this opening night was the size of the crowd attending the after-hours performances. It was easily three times the size of a normal opening night crowd. Hirthnole tried to convince himself that they had all come to see his amazing skill on his unicycle, but he had to admit in his heart-of-hearts that it was far more likely that they had come to see Joonti. The resounding cheers that greeted her appearance on the stage only hammered home the point. Hirthnole nodded politely to Mentos who was watching Joonti's act from backstage as, sighing to himself, the elderly Tellarite made his way to the canteen for the nightly freaks after hours get-together. Beulah moved sideways as much as she could (which wasn't actually that much) in order to make room for Hirthnole, carefully sliding her 24 piece fried chicken dinner (with mashed potatoes, gravy, biscuits, black-eyed peas, corn on the cob, cornbread and stuffing) down with her. Beulah was a kind-hearted, generous soul but when it came to food it was best to keep you hands far away from her plate lest she accidentally bite your fingers. Hirthnole gratefully accepted a cup of coffee from Klang as he squeezed in next to Beulah and joined the conversation. As usual, it seemed to be mostly focused on the romance between Mentos and Joonti. Hirthnole and Beulah, as aways, took the position that Mentos was probably flattered and surprised by the attention, but that nothing really serious would ever come of it. Klang, Cujo, Jessica and, occasionaly, B'Kee were of the opinion that the couple were 'destined to be together' as the surprisingly lyrical Klingon had put it. The good natured debate continued for several minutes, ending only when the dignified Betazoid and the tiny sprite of an Orion literally skipped into the cafeteria. Joonti excitedly dashed forward showing everyone the dazzling diamond ring that now adorned her tiny finger. The flawless stone had a slight purple tinge, bringing out emphasizing the startling color of the girl's eyes. Klang, Jessica and Cujo grinned in that universal 'I told you so way' as congratulations were offered to the happy couple. Hirthnole and Beulah managed to overcome their astonishment well enough to join in with wishing the couple well. After showing off her ring, Joonti immediated grabbed Mentos by the hand and tugged him away, back to the ship. Shrugging his shoulders at his old friends, Mentos allowed himself to be dragged away, the grin on his face and the gleam in his eyes belieing his reluctance to leave. Toasts were offered up to the obviously happy couple as the late-night get together broke up. The freaks wandered off, one by one, heading for bed after a busy day. Eventually only Hirthnole and Beulah were left. The pair were quiet, each thinking their own, private thoughts. Finally, the two turned towards each other and it was clear that neither was altogether comfortable with the engagement. They were both hearing bells - though these were more of the warning kind rather than wedding bells. Each aware of the other's reservations, they parted, to find their own beds. The next morning found Cujo and Mentos nervously waiting outside the office of the freighter's captain. It was rare that any of the circus performers had much contact with any of the freighter's crew. It was true that the stevedores on board DID assist in the loading and unloading of the circus' equipment, but the command staff, consisting of the captain, the first officer, a navigator/communications officer and a n engineer, rarely interacted with the any of circus acts, let alone the freaks. Captain Mildred Cawdor was a middle-aged Human who had been a freighter captain all of her adult life. She had had the job of ferrying around the Breen Circus for the past five years. She was a competent, if pedestrian, officer. She had been surprised to find that a request for an appointment with the two freaks had been entered into her calendar late the previous night, and had granted the request as much as from curiousity as from anything else. As the assigned time for the meeting arrived, she opened the door to find the two nervous freaks pacing in the corridor outside her office. She amusedly ushered them into the office and offered each of them a seat, as well as the beverage of their choice. Cujo enthusiastically requested a milkshake (although the dog-faced 'boy' was close to fifty years old, he still had an image to maintain) while Mentos gratefully accepted a cup of hot green tea. Captain Cawdor replicated a cup of hot chocolate for herself, after serving her guests, and then took her seat across her desk from her visitors. "So, gentlemen, what brings you here, this fine morning?" she asked after each of them had taken several sips from their drinks without muttering a word. "My dear lady," Mento's cultured tones began, "we have need of your services in performing a marriage ceremony." "Wha, wha what - between the two of you?" Cawdor responded, momentarily taken aback. Cujo and Mentos shared a look and then burst out laughing. "No, no," Mentos said between gasps for air, "Cujo is to be my best man! I am to be wedded to young Joonti, our newest act!" Mentos explained. "Oh," Cawdor blushed at her mistake, then seemed to be oercome by what had just been requested of her. "You, you, you mean that you want ME to perform an actual real wedding ceremony?" Cawdor seemed to be on the verge of tears, and Mentos wondered what could be wrong. Perhaps the Captain was secretly disappointed that she had never married herself? He was just about to offer a consoling word to her when she managed to speak through her tears, "No one ever asks a FREIGHTER Captain to perform a marriage! Its always those Starfleet captains that get to do that!" She was openly weeping now, the top of her desk was growing damper by the moment and threatening to actually become wet. The waterworks showed no sign of stopping and Mentos and Cujo shared another look, this time one of concern and alarm. Mentos had heard that some people cried at weddings, but he had never heard of anyone crying at simply being ASKED to perform the ceremony. Mentos began to have serious reservations about having Captain Cawdor officiate. Then again, on the other hand, there really wasn't anoyone else that he could ask. Mentos signed mentally and gestured to Cujo that they should be leaving. Nodding to the still sobbing Captain, he and the dog-faced boy quickly took their leave, before they needed to break out life preservers. The two performers hurried out of the command areas of the freighter to their quarters. They still needed to get ready for the early afternoon performances that day. That day passed with little incident, just another day in the life of a circus performer. The nightly get-together was a joyous affair. Cujo especially was overjoyed at being asked to be Mento's Best Man. He had even brought out The Family Tuxedo. The garment merited the capital letters, if even only because of its extreme age. The tux had been passed down from father to son for decades. Going in and (mostly) out of style several times during its lifespan. Mentos had taken one look at it and suggested that a trip to a local haberdashery the next day would certainly be in order. Thinking quickly he had said that it would be impossible to get tuxes for the rest of the party that could even have a fraction of the character and dignity of such a magnificent garment. Hirthnole had been surprised that garments were to be worn at all as he had always thought that Betazed weddings were clothing optional affairs, with most participants not exercising the option. Mentos had explained that Joonti had always dreamed of having a white wedding gown and he had agreed to allow everyone to be dressed for the ceremony. Cujo, for his part, simply grinned quietly to himself. His father had been right, after all. The mere sight of The Family Tuxedo was always enough to get a dog-faced boy a nice, new tuxedo every time. The next morning found Cujo, Klang, Hirthnole and Mentos in the nearest city, at that city's largest haberdashery, Tux Everlasting. Mentos had several tuxes since he wore one for each of his performances. He had choosen a sparkly dark blue one for his groom's outfit and had found, to his delight, that this color scheme was amply supported at the store. Hirthnole, Cujo and Klang were each given a tux to try on and escorted to separate dressing rooms. Cujo chuckled quietly to himself as he admired his fancy pants in the dressing room mirror. He felt a slight pang of quilt over the way that he was treating his good friend, but then he remembered that Mentos was the one who was ending up with Joonti. This caused a momentary flash of bitter, angry jealousy as he jerked his cummerbund tight. Too tight as it turned out as he found that he had inadvertantly tied the decorative belt so tight that he had cut off his ability to breathe properly. Annoyed, he tried to loosen the cummerbund, but found that he could not get his fingers under the fabric! He began to panic as he frantically dug his fingers into his stomach, desparately trying the remove the deadly decoration. He began to see spots before his eyes as he finally staggered from the dressing room, frenziedly searching for help. The oxygen content in his lungs was too depleted for him to do anything but barkingly gasp his distress. Mentos saw that his friend was agitated over something and headed over to him to see what was the matter. To his surprise, he found Cujo barking at him as he waved his hands. Obviously the dog-faced boy was trying to communicate something of desparate importance. Mentos tried to interpert his friend's grunts and gestures, "What's that you say, my friend? Timmy's down the well? Oh my!" Mentos tried to think of who Timmy might be an why he might of been anywhere near a well in the first place. The commotion brought the half-dressed Hirthnole and Klang out of their dressing rooms Hirthnole, noting the bluish tint to Cujo skin, correctly deduced the problem. "Klang! Get that cummerbund off of him!" the Tellarite shouted. The Klingon strongman quickly grasped the fabric and ripped it asunder with ease. Cujo's breathing was immediately restored and the shaken dog-faced boy shakily drew great, gasping chunks of air into his body. After several immensly deep breaths, Cujo had regained most of his composure. After thanking Hirthnole and Klang, he turned to Mentos, "Who the heck is Timmy?" he demanded. "I have no idea, my friend," Mentos answered. "I was never very good at charades," he admitted. "Why didn't you just read my mind," Cujo asked. "You know that I have pledged to never read the minds of my friends," Mentos reminded Cujo. "I would have allowed you an exemption!" Cujo assured the Betazoid. "Ah, there begins a slippery slope. And in any event, you couldn't speak to let me know that, and I wouldn't read your mind to find out, so how would I have known?" Cujo tried to work his way through that logic and was finally forced to admit that the hypnotist was probably right. "Oh well, no harm done, I guess," he finally said philosophically as he made his way back to his dressing room to continue trying on his tuxedo, still trying to figure out who this "Timmy" was. He was closely followed by one of the Tux Everlasting store clerks with a new cummerbund. It didn't take too much time for the three men to get their final fittings finished. The alterations for each tuxedo were drawn directly on each of the outfits and emergency alterations would be completed over the next two days so that the tuxes would be ready for the wedding at the end of the week. The party left the store, thanking everyone there for their assistance, and made their way back to the small shuttle that they had flown over from the freighter. Captain Cawdor had sobbingly loaned the foursome the tiny shuttle after learning that Hirthnole was fully qualified to fly one. She HAD been ready to loan them her navigation officer, too, but that would have made the tiny craft ridiculously cramped. Not that it had been particularly spacious, by any means. But it had served its purpose well enough. As the week progressed an undercurrent of excited tension rippled through the circus. All of the performers had been invited to attend the ceremony, with the freaks takening the positions of honor, naturally. Even Hirthnole and Beulah were swept up in the exuberance, overcoming their initial misgivings as they were caught up in the pre-ceremony festivities. Cujo had planned a bachelor party which would have brought bad-taste to a new low, but Klang and Hithnole managed to scale down the plans. Their argument that having Orion slave girls as dancers would be in incredibly poor taste was finally accepted and a troupe of local belly dancers were hired instead. The party was not much of a scucess, eventhen as Hirthnole and Mentos both considered themselves too odl and refined to participate in the wild shenanigans while Klang, for some reason, was being Klingon-y and refusinging to participate in such dis-honorable activities. Cujo didn't really mind, as he was having too much fun 'participating' enough for all of them. The regular performers, for the most part, kept to themselves, although each of them did make it a point to maketheir way over to Mentos at some point to offer him a hearty handshake and best wishes for the future. Meanwhile, Beulah had thrown a quiet little bridal shower for Joonti, the main feature of which was to see who could bring the skimpiest outfit. Her hope was that somehow, someone would bring something so scandalous that even Joonti would be embarassed by it. She might as well as asked the sun to stop shining. It was impossible to embarrass the Orion, although each of the other ladies there blushed amazing shades of pink as each new 'garment' was displayed. Both - early morning parties were wrapped up early so that everyone could get ready for their shows. After today's performances, there would only be one day left before the big wedding. It had been decided that the ceremony would be held just before the freighter would be loaded to make its way to its next destination. After attending the wedding, everyone would work extra-hard to tear down and pack up the circus' equipment. Captain Cawdor sobbingly pledged to speed the ship along at its very best speed so that the time lost with the ceremony would be made up and the circus wouldn't miss its next scheduled performance. All was ready for the most exciting day that anyone in the circus could remember. The day of the wedding dawned clear and bright. Hirthnole again pilotted the shuttle to Tux Everlasting and picked up the altered tuxedos. He sped them back to the circus where Klang and Cujo verified that the garments fit perfectly. All that was left to do was to go on with the day as if it were just another average day, everyone keeping their excitement under controll until the late-night ceremony. That turned out to be harder than anyone had imaged it could be. *************** * Interlude 2 * *************** Somewhere in space, not far from the unnamed planet where the circus was even now struggling to contain its excitement, a small courier ship drifted. The ship was awaiting destination coordinates. Its small on-board computer system was busily scanning the cultural and entertainment dataspheres of the surrounding star systems looking for something. A very particular something, in fact. Suddenly, an alarm whistle peirced the ship's silent patience. A small, uncomfortably dressed man jumped up at the sound. Rubbing his head where he had bruised it on the tiny ship's low ceiling, he hurried forward. Finally! He had his destination. This time he would NOT fail! He would discharge his sacred duty! Then he would go home and change out of this ridiculous outfit! ****************** * Interlude Ends * ****************** The main freighter hold had been picked as the venue for the wedding. It easily held all of the wedding party and the guests. No one from outside of the and freighter crew had been invited to the ceremony. Simple logistics had denied anyone from outside the opportunity the chance to participate. Not there were really any other people to invite, in any event. Circus folk were, pretty much by definition, loners, holding themselves seperate from society for their own reasons. Not that there weren't enough people there, anyway. Hirthnole had never really seen everyone involved with the circus gathered together in place before. The number of people present rivalled the the crew complement of the Menagerie, and, he had to admit to himself, they were just about a diverse a group, too. Hirthnole stood with Klang, next to Cujo and at the front of the cargo hold. Mentos smiled happily to himself as everyone awaited Joonti's appearance. For some reason they would be using a rather traditional Human ceremony, perhaps because that was what Captain Cawdor was most familiar with. As such, Joonti would be 'given away' by lieutenant Perkins, the frieghter's first officer. The navigation/communications officer and the engineer were acting as ushers, although with no relatives of either the groom or the bride attending, their duties mostly consisted of standing near the doors to the cargo hold dressed in their finest company uniforms, trying to look dignified. Hirthnole wasn't sure what his exact function at the ceremony was supposed to be. Apparently each of the maids of honor needed an escort and he and Klang were to be escorting B'Kee and Jessica, respectively. Seemed like he had been paired up with young Benzite women alot, lately. Maybe the universe was trying to tell him something. His musings were interupted by a chord for rather boring music suddenly blared over the intercom. Aparently this was some sort of signal because Captain Cawdor made an effort to stop crying for the first time all week. Then, the cargo hold doors opened and Lieutenant Perkins started slowing down the aisle between the seated guests, the radiant bride to be on his arm. And Hirthnole had to admit that she certainly did look radiant. The dress itself was a sparkly lace affair that appaered to be some sort of samite variant. Instead of the usual gold thread interwoven with the linen, this had what appeared to iridium thread throughout the fabric. As the pair slowly made their way towards the podium at the front of the hold, Hirthnole caught Beulah's eye, briefly. The two shrugged. Apparently their fears had been unfounded, after all. The only bells that could be heard now were the wedding bells which were tolling in the background of the music coming over the intercom. The ceremony was performed without a hitch. Even Captain Cawdor acted out her part perfectly. The wedding party, along with the captain and first officer were all congratulating each other as the cargo hold doors were suddenly thrown open and the little man from the courier ship burst in. The nav/comm officer moved to restrain the new arrival but the little man whipped a small phaser from a hidden pocket in his (incredibly uncomfortable) uniform and stunned the man. Then, apparently for good measure, he stunned the engineer, too. Seemingly satisfied with his handiwork, he returned the phaser to its hiding place and purposely strode forward, towards the wedding party. Klang jumped in his path, his bulging muscles ripping his tuxedo to shreds. Without missing a beat, the little man performed some sort of martial arts manuver and sent Klang clanging off the wall, unconscious. Hirthnole and Cujo then stepped forward only to be swept aside as though they were nothing. Finally, the little man stood before the married couple, Mentos pushed Joonti behind him as though he had any better cahnce against this semingly unstoppable opponent. The little man reached into another hidden pocket and whipped out... his clipPADD. squinting at the small type on the display he asked, "Mentos? Late of the planet Palladium?" Puzzled the elderly Betazoid replied, "Yes, I am Mentos." "Great, if you could just sign here... and here. And initial here. And sign over here..." Even more puzzled, Mentos complied with the little man's requests, finally handing back the clipPADD. "Everything appears to be in order," the little man said, carefully looking over the document. "And here is your delivery. Thank you for choosing Palladium Palace Express." He handed over a PADD to the by now completely confused Mentos. Then, without another look around, the little man turned on his heel and walked back out of the cargo hold, courteously closing the doors behind him as he left. Hirthnole, Cujo and Klang painfully pulled themselves to their feet as their stunned leader looked at the PADD. Wordlessly, Mentos handed the PADD to Hirthnole who read its contents aloud to the assembled guests, The Kingdom and planet of Palladia gratefully acknowledge your assistance in bringing the suspects in the Palladium Palace robbery to justice. Your sketches and related documentation were instrumental in the apprehension of the culprits, even after twenty years. A deposit has been made in your name at the First National Bank of Palladia as a reward for your service to the Kingdom and planet of Palladia in the sum of 20,000,000 credits. The Minister of Domestic Affairs - Palladia Shouts of joy and jubilation burst out from all corners of the cargo hold. The joyius celebration was now even more celabratory. Only two people refrained from taking part in the redoubled festivities. Hirthnole and Beulah again share a look. This time the bells that they were hearing were much closer to what the old playwrights would have called /diuerse alarums/! Hirthnole and Beulah slipped out of the reception party early. Not that they were missed. The previously scheduled fast pack-up and departure had been put on hold to celebrate the now doubly good news. For Hirthnole and Beulah the timing of everything had been a bit too coincidental to be coincidental. Perhaps it was just because they were cynical, but Hirthnole remembered something that his old friend Ustrano had used to say - Just becuase you're paranoid doesn't mean that someone ISN'T after you! He was determined to make sure that his new friend, Mentos, wasn't making a seriuos mistake. He brought along with him a single hair that he had plucked from Joonti's head as he had embraced her, as had everyone else, after the good news. Of course everyone would have lined up to embrace Joonti in any event, the wedding and subsequent windfall only giving them an excuse. They arrived at th door to his quarters and ther they encountered their first difficulty. "I can't fit through!" Beulah pouted. She had managed to slip away from the reception with what appeared to be half of the wedding cake, Hirthnole noticed. "Well just wait here," Hirthnole decided. "I'll grab waht I need and then we can go to your quarters." "Ohhh! A man in MY quarters. be still my heart!" Beulah teased. Hirthnole shook his head as he darted into his quarters. He was back moments later with a Starfleet issue tricorder. Thus eqipped, the pair hurried along the corridor to Beulah's quarters. Fortunately the corridors were completely deserted. Everyone else was still at the reception. Once they were safely hidden, Hirthnole fed the hair into the tricorder which analysed it down to its owner's DNA - which was what Hirthnole had wanted it to do. With the analysis complete, Hirthnole activated the tricorder's comm protocals and punched in a frequency known to very few people. Moments later, Banjo's face appearedo n the tiny screen. "Hirthnole? Good to see you again my friend, but you know that you should only use this frequency in case of emergency..." "Which this is," Hirthnole interupted his friend. "I need Linnea and Jantoo immediately!" Banjo recognized the note of urgency in his friend's voice and hurried to wake the two ladies. He was glad that Ustrano had rigged a comm relayer which would transfer any comms coming into the Mystery to his quarters. This meant that the renegades didn't need to have someone always on duty on the ship and they could all have down time, together. Banjo, Mantron, Linnea and Jantoo gathered in a sort palor/office that adjoined all of the A-Men's suites at Linnea's father's home. The room had been part of the space given to the team as part of their compensation for a delicate job performed for the Orion Guildmaster some time ago. As everyone gathered around the large viewscreen, Banjo switched the signal feed to the comm relay. Hirthnole and Beulah appeared, big as life. Which took some getting used to. "I'm glad to see everyone and hope you're all fine, but this is really an emergency," Hirthnole spoke up before any of the A-Men could even utter a greeting. "I'm sending a DNA stream along a carrier signal. I need any and all data you have on the person the sample belongs to. Here's apicture to go along with it." Hirthnole transmitted a copy of Joonti's attraction poster, which would be put up to show which act would be coming next. "I need you to check whatever Orion databases you have access to and tell me if this woman's dangerous!" "We don't need to do all that," Linnea spoke up. She continued as everyone's head swivled toward her, "I went to school with her. Her name is Joonti and as far as I know she's a memeber in ggod standing of the Guild of Black Widows." "What is a Guild of Black Widows?" Dil asked. "They are women who marry men who are rich and then they kill them to get their money." "How?" Hirthnole asked desperately. "Well most societies automatically transfer a husbands assets to their widow after they die, unless there is a will which distributes the money differently." "No, no!" Hirthnole cried, "I mean how do they kill their husbands?" "Oh!" Linnea said, understanding, "they usually poison them and make it look like a heart attack on their wedding night!" Hirthnole was frantic now, "What poison do they use?" "I beleive its cardranical," Linnea responded after a few moments thought. "Jantoo is their any antidote for cardranical?" Hirthnole begged with his eyes for the answer to be 'yes'. Jantoo consulted a medical database on another console. "Yes there is," she announced to the great relief of Hirthnole and Beulah "if you can administer 12 ccs of cordestinate with one hour of the initial poisoning, the target should recover fully." "Thanks very much. I'll comm again and let you know what's going on, but right now we need to go stop a murder!" And Hirthnole signed off, leaving his friends with nothing to do but worry. Hirthnole and Beulah burst into the cafeteria, where the reception was being held. It was obvious that the party had mostly broken up. The newly wedded couple were nowhere to be seen. Klang seemed to be babysitting Cujo, who seemed a bit the worse for drink, and B'Kee and Jessica were bemusedly watching the dog-faced boy as he drunkenly chased his 'tail'. The two rushed over to their friends and hurriedly explained what they had discovered. Cujo quickly concentrated and sobered up, the effects of the sythehol shrugged off as easily as a coat. All six rushed off to Mentos' quarters where the couple would be sharing their nuptial bed. The door was, not surprisingly, locked. Their frantic pounding on the door failed to produce any results. "If we could get this little access panel off, I could trigger the door," Hirthnole commented. Klang stepped forward. He had changed back into his customary tank top and tights after shredding his tux, and his plainly visible muscles rippled as he flexed as he moved over in front of the panel. Suddenly, his fist smashed out, crinkling the panel like tin foil and exposing the circuitry beneath. Hirthnole jumped forward, quickly pulling several wires free. Selecting two, he crossed them and the recalcitrant doors irised open. The six freaks charged in. "Ha ha ha ha! So you've figured it out, have you? Well no matter, you're too late!" Joonti cackled evilly as she moved away from the bed, revealing a hypospray still sitting on Mentos' chest. And then, the hypospray was concealed again! In their hasty panic the four freaks had forgotten about B'Kee's hyperventilating! The room was quickly being enveloped in respirant fog! The four spread out to find the evil Orion, but she managed to slip by them in the fog, her evil laughter echoing down the corrider in her wake. Hirthnole, B'Kee, Jessica and Klang and Cujo all dashed out in pursuit while Beulah dashed (well, waddled) over to Mentos' still form. As troupe nurse she had a complete medical replicator in her quarters and she had replicated a hypospray of the cordestinate before she and Hirthnole had gathered up the others. She administered the antidote as she ran her medical tricorder over the prostrate form. Nervously she waited for the minimal lifesigns to climb as the Betazoid's system responded to the treatment. The five freaks exited the freighter, out into the still assembled circus. Captain Cawdor had decided that it would be too dangerous to try to pack up after the recption and had put off their departure until the next morning. The five split up to search for the would-be murderess. Joonti smiled evilly to herself as she slipped through the darkened tents. So the freaks were chasing her, were they? She would have laughed if she weren't trying to be stealthy. She decided to head for the Tunnel of Love, that would be a good place to lie low until morning. She had scheduled a pickup for early that morning so she only had to remain hidden for a few hours. Evading these pathetic freaks would be child's play. She carefully crept into the even darker dakness of the Tunnel of Love, smirking at her cleverness. Suddenly, the holosuite sprang to life around her. Monsterous apparations shimmered into existence all around her. Skeletons, and werewolves and vampires and ducks floated around her. Wait a minute! Ducks??! What's so scary about a duck? She answered her own question moments later as first the one duck, and then a bunch of his friends started savagely pecking her! These weren't the playful little bites that the ducks delivered to the hopeful children who frequented their pond, but viscious, nasty bites. Wings buffetted the girl's head and the quacking soon deafened and disoriented the Orion making her flee, bleeding from several deep bites, out of the Tunnel, into the night... And straight into the waiting armpit-hair lassoes of Lady Gillette A.K.A. Ridem' Cowgirl! Jessica stood there, arms upraised while living ropes of braided hair entangled the Black Widow, momentarily holding her fast! But not for long. Reaching behind herself, Joonti retreived her juggling batons from a pocket on her back. Apparently they could be activated without her brazier, because both batons suddenly burst into flame! Twirling them madly, Joonti had soon sizzled her way free, filling the air with the scent of scorched hair, and leaving Jessica with a serious case of split ends! Casting about herself, she quickly dashed into the main tent, known throughout circus history as the big top. She ran to one of the high-wire poles which supported the trapeze artists and the other mainstream, exciting acts. Climbing the ladder she, she calmed her breathing. This perch should be perfect, she thought to herself. They'll never find me up here. Just then two of the big spotlights snapped on. One highlighted the tiny Black Widow, while the other highlighted the top of the other pole - and Hirthnole balanced on his unicycle. Below Cujo and his avian assistants moved away from the main light console, joining Klang on the sawdust of the center ring - the only time that either of the freaks had ever been center stage. Joonti knew that she was trapped, but she figured that it was likely that only Hirthnole was crazy enough to attempt to apprehend her way up here. If she could defeat him, then she could probably hold out long enough to be beamed away by her pickup ship. With grim determination, she started across the high wire. Hirthnole started out after her from his end, his anger at the duplicitous Orion making him wobble, ever so slightly, as he made his way across the wire. Joonti smiled to herself when she saw Hirthnole wobble, this would be easy! The two met at nearly exactly the center of the wire. Joonti lunged at the Tellarite, but Hirthnole easily backpedalled, outdistancing the reach of the Orion. He then reversed course and charged straight at the girl! The collision overbalanced both combatants sending them both off of the wire, down towards the hard ground far below. Hirthnole wasn't worried, he knew that his friends had been stringing the safety below the high wire, so he just relaxed and waited to be caught by the net. And waited. And waited. And began to panic as he realised that the net wasn't there! Just as he was coming to this realization, he found himself safely held in the massive arms of his friend, Klang! Jessica just managed to snag his falling unicycle, just before it would have smashed to pieces. Joonti wasn't as lucky, since no one was really trying to catch her, anyway. "What happened to the net?" Hirthnole asked. "Damn high-wire act locked it up after their show!" Klang explained. "Didn't know they did that!" "Well, no harm done, I suppose," Hirthnole decided as he checked himself over. Can't say the same for Joonti," Jessica commented as she gently lowered Hirthnole's beloved unicycle to the ground. Cujo shooed his ducks away as he, Klang, Hirthnole, Jessica and B'Kee gathered around the broken figure of the Black Widow. It was obvious to all there that she would not be walking away from this mess. Or walking anywhere else, for that matter. "What do we do now?" Jessica asked, echoing what everyone else was thinking. "Just leave everything to me," Cujo assured his friends. "I'll take care of it." On Earth, in the eighteenth century, women, desiring to do anything to conform to society's image of beauty, would poison themselves with arsenic, mercury and belladonna to keep their skin pale and their weight down. Furthermore, corsets, bustles, and various other bizarre and uncomfortable undergarments were employed to manipulate body configurations, adding to what Nature might have neglected and removing what Nature might have provided an overabundance of. Tragically, these rituals continued on even during pregancy. In many cases, the tortures that women inflicted upon themselves were also inflicted upon the much more malleable flesh of their unborn. The results of these contortions on these fetuses, oftentimes resulted in stillborn babies. These were the fortunate ones. Babies not delivered stillborn were often deformed monstrosities with oddly shaped skulles, twisted limbs and bent spines. In many, many cases these creatures were quietly euthanised by horrified fathers and doctors (who were invariably male at the time), the mothers told that the children had not survived the birth. There were, however, (thankfully, very few) merchants who would try to take advantage of these times of misery. Babies were sold off to these entrepreneurs who, in turn, would then resell these unwanted reminders of the price of fashion to travelling carnivals and circuses as freaks.* These illicit lurkers on the edges of two societies, both of which despised them for being needed, continued to survive in a sort of underground brotherhood. Centuries later, this brotherhood still survived, existing much as they had for centuries, on the edges of society. Mutated plants and animals, unnatural oddities and occassional surgical nightmares were traded like collectables among several of the Sector's travelling freakshows and more disreputable carnivals. The Breen Circus, an upstanding, family-friendly operation had nothing to do with these underworld operatives. Cujo, had no such moral qualms. Protecting one's own was still the core of any group of misfits and outcasts, the Breen Circus' freaks no exception. Calls were made, favors called in, new favors promised. Secret packages passed between darkened ships, mysteriously passing in the black night of space as the freighter carried the circus to its next destination. And when it arrived at that destination... "Mentos! How are you feeling?" Klang shouted as their old friend made his way from the freighter that first morning. Ruefully, the dignified Betazoid thought for a moment before replying, "Embarrassed, chagrinned, mortified, and, according to the narrator, rueful." "Well, don't worry about any of that," Beulah assured him. She had cleared him to return to his performance schedule. There had been no lingering aftereffects from his close brush with death, and he seemed as healthy as ever. No to mention richer. He had verified that the money really had been deposited in the account and it was truly all his. What he hadn't told anyone, yet was that he had set up accounts for each of the other freaks, dividing his windfall equally amongst his friends. "I'll try to put the past behind me, my dear. Thank you for all of your help. And that goes for all of you," Mentos spread his hands wide as he spread his arms to encompass the entire troupe. "Ive come out to see the new animal that Cujo is so excited about." The dog-faced boy had indeed been bragging about the circus' new animal act. Cujo was the circus' unofficial animal handler. While each animal act had its own 'tamer' the animals were the results of generations of domestification (well circusification at any rate) and were so tame that a child could have been their 'tamer'. This new display was a bit different. The semi-mythological beast had just been discovered on a far-away planet and sold to the circus. Cujo led the troupe around to the animal holing section of the freighter, past the lions and tigers and ravenous bugblatter beasts to a new cage. There, in the cage was a real-life dragon! The light-green reptoid half-heartedly puffed out a thin stream of flame at the troupe, causing the girls to gasp in alarm. Cujo assurred everyone that the beast could cause no harm, the cage came complete with forcefields. Everyone ohhed and ahhed over the new animal for a bit before wandering away. Hirthnole couldn't be sure but for some reason he could have sworn that thought he saw a tear fall from one of the dragon's big, purple eyes, but that must have been his imagination, right? Next Time: The A-Men are back in a brand new adventure while, lurking in the background, a brand new enemy awaits! Check out "Hymns and Hers" Available on 11/6/2006 I welcome Reader Feedback! Please let me know what you've thought of Melting Pot so far, and, in particular this story! Contact me at: meltingpot@khobrah.net * See Guy de Maupassant's "The Mother of Monsters" for a contemporary, albeit semi-fictionalized, viewpoint of this tragic situation. ducks, Tunnel, Ridem, Klang Timmy down the well?`